My second realization in this year of enough is that I actually have enough time.
Complaints about never having enough time abound in today’s world. Examples throughout history can be found too, so we might even venture to posit that it is fundamental to the human condition.
Lines from Chinese Zen poet Stonehouse come to mind:
“A human life last one hundred years but which of us get them all”
As well as these lines from Chinese Zen poet Cold Mountain:
“A man lives less than a hundred years but harbors cares for a thousand”
It is true. I harbor cares for a thousand years. And yet, even the less-than-one-hundred that I am most likely to receive are enough.
We can’t have it all. Aren’t constraints an essential element for creation? Why bemoan what we cannot change?
In my own life, I spent last year feeling like I was stretched thin. Between a new born child, a business, cooking three meals a day – there never seemed to be enough hours in the day to accomplish everything I wanted. Fitness fell by the wayside. Projects languished. I did not play music. I never gardened.
At the same time, I spent 8 months of the year not working at all. I spent time with my wife and son. I spent time preparing beautiful and loving meals that were enjoyed by friends and family. I spent time with my father on his birthday – whole days, uninterrupted by any other cares of the world. I spent time with my father while he was dying, making it so that he could leave this world without the pain that had been haunting him for years, ultimately building into a final, unbearable crescendo. I spent time focusing on honoring my father’s life, arranging a beautiful service, and celebrating him with our family.
What I had was too many cares, not too little time.
Moreover, the past two weeks have proven that I do have enough time to fit everything that I want. Perhaps that was the ultimate trick: changing my concept of time and admitting that I have enough of it.
I can fit in five hours a day of work, 3-4 hours a day with my son (allowing mom to work and to have a life), I work out five days a week, I spend 1+ hrs a day walking my dog, I play music, I read books, I still prepare 2-3 meals a day, and I am working in the SF Japanese Tea Garden once again.
I have enough time, and it is glorious.